Ten Questions with Lobo of Predator Press

1. Describe your blog in five sentences or less.
Well, the Wall Street Journal is an infinitely boring publication that no one reads … it’s all ‘economic crisis this‘ and ‘the escalating war in some unpronounceable that‘ blah blah. Jeez, it barely even has any pictures! And did the much-lauded New York Times cover when I wrecked my car for the insurance money? No. … As the sole source of news for millions and millions of readers, I figure Predator Press owed it to the masses to weigh in finally on really important issues.

2. Link us to one post from your blog that best defines who you are.
I would say ‘Roller Coaster‘. Being a celeb myself, I understand what it’s like having satellites taking pictures of your house and supermodels desperately trying to tear off bits of your garments every second of the day. But I’m a well-respected and married member of the community.Do you hear that Jessica Simpson? 500 yards at all times.

3. What sets you apart from other bloggers?
$300 glasses. Oh, and that a Northern Timber Wolf chewed me out of her own cervix, ‘cuz she thought I was malignant.

4. When and how did you first discover blogging?
You don’t want to hear the story about the Northern Timber Wolf? I’ve got these really cool scars.

5. What is your biggest pet peeve related to blogging or the internet?
Other people are on it. And now they are copying my idea! There must be eight or nine people ‘blogging’ out there now … I should have copyrighted the concept in the first place. Predator Press is already beyond my control: it’s a rampant and insatiable fusion-fueled juggernaut of a blog that chews up entire universes and spits out kittens for fun. More than one Predator Press will tear holes in the fabric of Space-Time, destabilize the “Blogosphere”, and ultimately collapse the entire internet into a singular dense point that skews your eBay feedback until you have to burn down your own home for the insurance money while fighting zombies dressed in a Speedo.

Screw those jerks!

6. Name one plugin, blogging widget, or service that you can’t live without.
Well, the computer keyboard is pretty cool when it’s plugged in. Otherwise I would have to scan in all those restaurant napkins and matchbooks.

7. If you could choose anyone, living or dead, to write a guest post for your blog, who would it be and why?
It would be my kids. I house them, feed them two or three times a week, and no matter how much I beat them it’s still all ‘bitch, bitch, bitch’. I demand an explanation.

8. How has blogging made you a better person?
I’m down to between 16 and 20 heartbeats a day. My doctor -understandably- was concerned and tested my blood. And as always, my blood got an A+ -clearly showing it’s intellectual superiority over all the other stupid and inferior bloods. The treacherous French continue to poison me with deep-fried pointy potato sticks, but according to Nietzsche, “What does not kill me makes me stronger”. I’m freakin’ awesome now.

9. What are your tips for becoming a better blogger?

1) Buy a computer.
2) Buy a monitor. And,
3) WRITE IT DOWN!

10. Name one great blog that you read on a regular basis. What makes it unique?

That’s easy. The only blog I read is The Cult of 45 Caliber Ominous Funny Things.

… It’s genius.

Categories: Humor, Ten Questions